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What Age Can A Child Choose Which Parent To Live With?

Child Age to Chose Parent

//  by Christopher McAvoy

A child can chose what parent to live with when they reach the age of 18. At 18, they are considered legal adults and no longer under the jurisdiction of the divorce court. Think about it and it will make sense. Your child is not allowed to pick the school they go to, what doctor they see, or what they have for dinner but they get to pick who has custody? That would cause chaos. As soon as Mom takes away their phone, the kid would snap their fingers and declare that Dad now has custody.

Only One of Twelve Factors

In determining child custody in Michigan, the court must consider twelve best interest factors.  One of the factors is the reasonable preference of the child, if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference. It doesn’t have a specific age. It is really up to the judge.  Even if the judge considers the child’s preference, that choice does not determine the outcome.

Typically, when it is appropriate to listen to a child, the judge will meet with the child in chambers for a private meeting. Also called an in camera interview, the judge doesn’t typically take testimony. On other occasions, the judge may have the Friend of the Court do the interview. The interviews in Wayne County, Michigan can be done by the Referee or the Family Counseling Unit. Every judge has their own procedures. It is the very rare case where a child actually takes the witness stand.

Don’t Bring Your Child to Court

Quick practice pointer: Do not bring your child to speak to the judge unless you are specifically told to do so by the court. Every once in a while, a parent brings a kid to court because they feel they should have a voice in the matter. Do not do it. It makes the parent look irresponsible and manipulative. I don’t care how mature you think your child is. It’s a really bad idea.

Other Important Child Ages

Here are some ages that have some significance under Michigan law for minors. While none of these apply in custody or parenting time issues, it’s possible these feed the confusion when wondering when the age of a child to chose a parent to live with.

  • A minor can nominate a guardian at the age of 14.
  • A child can go to court to ask a judge for an order emancipating them from their parents at the age of 16.
  • A 17 year old will be prosecuted as an adult if charged with a crime.
  • Over 14 years of age, a child cannot be adopted unless they consent.
  • A 16 year old may ask for a parental consent waiver for an abortion.
  • A 16  year old may also drop out of school.

Ready to talk? Contact us and set up an appointment. Give us a call  at  313-291-0240.

Chris McAvoy is an Allen Park, Michigan divorce attorney who helps people with bankruptcy,  divorce, and  estate  planning.  To find out more or set  up an  appointment, click here   for  contact info. Our attorneys help people in Taylor, Allen Park,  Southgate,  Lincoln  Park, Riverview, Trenton, Flat  Rock,  Wyandotte, Brownstown,  Belleville,  Dearborn, Dearborn Heights, and  the  Downriver,  Michigan  area.

 

 

 

Category: Divorce

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Andrea

    November 2, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    Hello-
    My brother has a PPO against him by his wife. It is all lies.
    His lawyer has told him that the judge, Judge Noe will not ever overturn a PPO. Ever, for any reason.
    My brother wants to fight it and have it dropped, amended or whatever.
    I feel that a judge needs to be objective and judge each case on its own.
    What is your feeling ?
    Thank you.

    • Christopher McAvoy

      January 5, 2015 at 11:27 pm

      I don’t practice in Lenawee County and have never been before her and I would listen to an attorney that practices before her regularly.

  2. Summer

    January 23, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    Hello,
    I am almost 17 years old and my parents are divorced. My father lives a good 45 minutes away from my mothers. Where my mother lives I also go to school and work. My parents custody time is split in the middle of the week and it is becoming harder for me to go to my fathers house. I was wondering, at what age would I be able to decide which house I stay at?

    • Christopher McAvoy

      January 26, 2015 at 12:01 am

      You can decide when you turn 18. Talk to your parents and see if they can work together to come up with a better schedule for you. Just be honest with them and explain how hard it is for you. Good luck.

  3. concerned parent

    February 12, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    Hello I am in concern for my stepson he is almost 17 and he has been wanting to live with myself and his father … Not because he don’t like his mom or her girlfriend but because he needs his dad… He has been asking for over 5 years now… An his mom keeps telling him that he can’t choose.. I honestly believe the boy needs his dad in his life not two woman .. He is at the age where he needs that MALE figure… What can I do to help him???? If he can choose to quit school at 16 why can’t he choose to live with us… ??? I was 12 when i chose to live with my dad…

    • Christopher McAvoy

      March 2, 2015 at 10:58 pm

      Please consult with an attorney as your question may involve legal advice outside the scope of a comment page.

  4. jodi

    March 28, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    Hello my name is jodi and I for about two years have wanted to live with my father. however my mother doesn’t want me to she WILL NOT let me i have already asked her and sat down with her and told her why. My dad about a year ago got a lawyer and payed for him to get my mom somehow to say yes or go to court and fight for me. I was wondering which u say 18 well….. i know when i turn 18 I am an adult and will not be living with my mom or my dad so is there anyway that i could choose at age 13 to live with my dad before I turn 18?

    • Christopher McAvoy

      March 31, 2015 at 11:08 pm

      I’m sorry but I cannot any general legal direction to a minor child.

  5. Blank

    May 12, 2015 at 10:49 pm

    I will be turning 16 soon and have been wanting to move to my dad’s since I was 9 or 10. I have logical reason and other states accept minors to have a choice. My father lives 18 hours away and I see him once a year…

    • Christopher McAvoy

      December 10, 2015 at 10:49 am

      I understand your concerns and wish I could help more but the bottom line is you don’t get to decide until you are 18.

  6. Angela

    July 6, 2015 at 6:58 pm

    I have custody of my 12 year old son, but he spends 2 nights a week at his fathers during the school year, and we do week on/week off in the summer. He has 2 step siblings over there ages 16 & 12 whom he doesn’t get along with and a stepmom who he claims doesn’t treat him like the other children. Dad works out of town most of the time and my son is left with stepmom and the boys. Recently my son has strongly expressed his desire not to go to his fathers unless his father is home. This past weekend, even refusing to go. Is there any legal action I could take on this matter?

    • Christopher McAvoy

      December 10, 2015 at 10:42 am

      You should see a divorce attorney to discuss if there is a reason to modify the parenting time schedule.

  7. Antwonia

    November 11, 2015 at 12:41 am

    My son is thirteen, he will be 14 on the 29th of this mouth. I’m in the process of getting my own place so that he can come home with me. His God mother is trying to keep him from me. He wants to be back with me as much as I want him to be with me. Can he choose after he is 14 years old in Michigan?

    • Christopher McAvoy

      December 10, 2015 at 9:30 am

      He can chose when he is 18 and a legal adult. Prior to that, the preference of a child is but one of the twelve best interest factors. As always, see a lawyer and don’t rely on a quick answer from a website.

  8. Mandy Morey

    April 30, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    What is the point is allowing people to comment if you can’t answer their questions? So I will save time and instead of ask I will answer myself “even though I’m a lawyer I can’t actually give you legal advice”, thanks!!!!

    • Christopher McAvoy

      June 15, 2016 at 11:19 am

      Sorry you are frustrated but you are not entitled to an answer just because you want one. Would you ask for medical advice on WebMD.com and not see a doctor if you were sick? Of course not. Same is true here. I don’t give legal advice over a website forum board, just general information. A website is an advertisement to offer legal services to individuals not the creation of an attorney-client relationship.

  9. Jazzmine Foster

    May 4, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    I want to know why the age is 14 to pick where to live with divorced parents.? Like what if your 12 and want to live with your dad but u cant chose because you don’t have legal rights because your under age. Considering what people go threw in life. The age should at least drop down to 11- 12 years old. Right?

    • Christopher McAvoy

      June 15, 2016 at 11:12 am

      The right to pick which parent you live with is 18 and not 14. And, as a parent, I don’t agree that a 12 year old should get to pick who they live with. Sorry.

      • Rob

        August 3, 2016 at 8:02 pm

        I don’t agree with you on that. So if a kids not happy living with there mom or dad they should have a right to choose who they want to live with why make a kid live with a parent that they don’t want to live with? Let’s say there 13 and want to live with there dad for the next 5 years ? With that attitude I would never hire you to fight for my kids!

        • Christopher McAvoy

          October 11, 2016 at 11:25 pm

          It’s not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing with me. It’s the law. See MCL 722.23(i) which indicates the reasonable preference of the child is but one of twelve factors the court is to consider. You should consider hiring a lawyer that knows the law and not one that tells you what you want to hear.

  10. susan berry

    August 18, 2016 at 9:33 pm

    I have a question? Is there grandparents laws in Michigan and who do I contact to speak with someone about them?

    • Christopher McAvoy

      October 11, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      You would speak with a divorce lawyer. See mcl-722-27b.

  11. Concerned father

    October 30, 2016 at 10:47 am

    I’m a parent and I have two kids living Detroit, Michigan with their mother. I been paying child support for my kids for 7 years faithfully. I have rights as a father for visitation through child support court but the mother of my children won’t let me see or talk to them at all. I moved to Indianapolis in 2010 in January for better job opportunities because I had no luck in Detroit. I been in Indianapolis for 6 years going on 7 years in this January. The mother of my kids will not allow me to see or talk to my kids even when I go home to visit my family, I can’t see them. She won’t all me to get them for summer break, Christmas or spring break. No matter how hard I try to communicate with her she will not respond or give me any feed back. When been to court most recently in 2015 August for child support and I tried to discuss the issue then but the judge shut me down. I’m a good dad I pay my child support ever two weeks I even send money down there to help with other things clothes, shoes etc. I have a girlfriend I been with for 5 years and we have a son together. He barley knows his other siblings because of their mom. Since I’ve been in Indianapolis she had other kids and some how neglected our kids we have together. My kids tell my mother and father about the issues and I try to help. I’ve offered to have them come live with me to give their mom a break seeing how she has four kids now and I know it can be a lot on one person. I’m very stable and have a great job my girlfriend works as well she helps me with supporting my other kids by sending money to them and trying to get some type of communication with baby mother. I just want to see and spend time with my kids please help. Can I purse this case for joint or full custody?

    Thank you,
    A concern father

    • Christopher McAvoy

      November 14, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      There are a lot of issues here that need to be addressed. You need to speak with a lawyer.

  12. Unknown and will not say.

    May 19, 2021 at 2:36 pm

    Other Important Child Ages
    Here are some ages that have some significance under Michigan law for minors. While none of these apply in custody or parenting time issues, it’s possible these feed the confusion when wondering when the age of a child to chose a parent to live with.

    A minor can nominate a guardian at the age of 14.
    A child can go to court to ask a judge for an order emancipating them from their parents at the age of 16.
    A 17 year old will be prosecuted as an adult if charged with a crime.
    Over 14 years of age, a child cannot be adopted unless they consent.
    A 16 year old may ask for a parental consent waiver for an abortion.
    A 16 year old may also drop out of school.
    Ready to talk? Contact us and set up an appointment. Give us a call at 313-291-0240.

    Its literally says you can at 14 so speak. I copied and pasted this from this site above the comment section. Also If you 14 and want to live with your mom at 14 can you choose? Especially if your dad is suicidal and him and his step mom are breaking up 3 times a month..

    • Christopher McAvoy

      May 19, 2021 at 2:56 pm

      Age 18. See MCL 722.27. Age 14 is nomination of guardian which is sometimes confused with custody. See MCL 700.5204.

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